Doing It All—But Not All at Once

As a single mother, educator, and community advocate, people often ask me: How do you do it all?

The truth is, I don’t. Not all at once. Not every day. And not without intention.

There were times in my life when I felt like I had to be everything to everyone, on the job, at home, at church, in the community. I wore all the hats, checked all the boxes, and still went to bed feeling like I hadn’t done enough. That constant pressure to give, give, give without pouring back into myself left me on the edge of burnout more times than I care to admit.

But over time, I learned something that changed everything: Giving back is only sustainable when you give to yourself too.

The Weight and the Gift of Single Motherhood

Raising a child on your own is a powerful, beautiful, and incredibly demanding experience. There is no off-switch. From early morning routines to late-night school projects, it’s a 24/7 job filled with love, responsibility, and plenty of lessons learned along the way.

There were times when I had $20 in my account, a pile of laundry to fold, papers to grade, and a child who just needed me to slow down and read a bedtime story. That kind of balancing act requires more than grit, it requires grace.

I had to learn to give myself grace when things didn’t go perfectly. I had to trust that even on the hard days, showing up with love was more valuable than showing up with a perfect plan.

Boundaries Are a Form of Self-Respect

One of the biggest lessons I had to learn was how to say “no.”

I love helping people. I love being involved. But I had to realize that constantly saying yes, to every extra task, every last-minute request, every good cause, was draining the energy I needed to show up well for my own life.

Boundaries weren’t easy for me. I worried people would think I didn’t care or wasn’t committed. But what I found was the opposite, when I honored my limits, I became more present, more effective, and more at peace.

Now, I give back with intention. I focus on the spaces where I can make the most impact, not just the most noise.

Creating a Support System (Even When It’s Small)

Being a single mom can feel isolating, but I learned that I didn’t have to do it all alone. I reached out to friends, family, neighbors, teachers, anyone who could be part of my village.

Sometimes support looked like a quick phone call to vent. Other times it was carpool help, or someone watching my daughter for an hour so I could finish grading or take a walk alone.

If you’re a mom reading this and struggling to ask for help, let me say this clearly: You deserve support. You don’t have to earn it by being perfect. Let people show up for you. Let your circle grow, even if it starts with just one or two people.

Time for Me Isn’t Selfish

There was a time when I felt guilty doing anything for myself. A bubble bath, a solo walk, even ten minutes of silence felt like time stolen from my child or my responsibilities. But then I noticed something: When I neglected myself, everyone around me got a more stressed, less joyful version of me.

So I started claiming time for myself, not hours every day, but meaningful moments.

I journaled. I prayed. I moved my body. I took deep breaths and reminded myself that I am a whole person, not just a job title or a caretaker.

That small shift made a big difference. When I gave to myself, I could give to others from a place of fullness, not depletion.

Modeling Balance for My Child

One of the biggest motivators for finding balance was my daughter. I wanted her to grow up knowing that women, especially mothers—can pursue purpose and joy without burning out.

She’s seen me work hard, but she’s also seen me rest. She’s watched me serve the community, but she’s also watched me say, “Not today, I need a moment.” That matters.

I want her to grow up knowing that love includes boundaries, that success includes self-care, and that giving back doesn’t mean giving away every last piece of yourself.

What I Want Other Moms to Know

To every mother trying to juggle work, service, and family, please know that you are not alone. And more importantly, you are enough.

You don’t have to prove your worth by running yourself ragged. You can say no. You can rest. You can ask for help. And you can still be deeply committed to your purpose.

Balance isn’t a fixed destination, it’s something we build every day, piece by piece. Some days will be chaotic. Others will feel smooth. That’s life. That’s motherhood. That’s service.

The Takeaway I Hope Every Mom Remembers

I’m proud of what I’ve built, not just in my career, but in my home and my heart. I’m proud that I’ve learned how to give back without losing myself in the process.

It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.

So here’s my message to working moms everywhere: You can serve. You can lead. You can love your children and your community. Just make sure to love yourself just as fiercely.

You don’t have to choose between giving back and staying whole—you can do both. And you’re already on your way.